Figuring It All Out
by kakashidiot
Summary: CRACK FIC. KakaIru nonYAOI pairing. What it means to be homosocial... RandR!


I don't own Naruto! Sadly...WARNING: CRACK FICTION AT ITS BEST AHEAD!

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I've got a wide range of readers – I LOVE YOU ALL – many YAOI fans, and many NON-YAOI fans. To be honest, I abhor writing sex scenes of any type (hetero or homo) – and so, to date, the only sex I've written was in **Revelation of the Wolf**.

Recently, I've noticed that a lot of my KakaIru fics have been labeled as a more YAOI thing – when I see it as more bishonen. Hmmm…. Maybe I'm in denial… But in reality, I give leave for all readers to read what they want into my stuff – it's written that way on purpose… But when reading my fics, keep in mind that any slant of KakaIru tends to be more platonic than not.

Of course… GenRai are definitely… together….

To be honest… KakaIru, KakaSaku, KakaKure Kakawhatever doesn't really bother me at all… I'm not picky… but it HAS to be about Kakashi… so whatever I write about, trust me… it's going to be about Kakashi in some way, shape or form.

Of course, the exception to the rule is my comedy "**The Day They All Found Out**", "**The Bomb**"... and other stuff, which although not graphic, certainly suggest something... but I'm not saying what... which I believe has the appropriate labels… But even then – it's remarkably G-rated and really doesn't take itself seriously… how could it, really?

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Figuring It All Out

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For people who didn't get **Orange and Milk** and the whole notion of homosociality.

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A conversation between Iruka and Kakashi: **

"Kakashi… We're holding hands…"

"So?"

"And we're hugging…"

"So?"

"And we're leaning on each other…"

"Yeah – and your point is -?"

"I must be gay!"

"WWWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAATTTTTT? You're gay? Since when?"

"How could I not?"

"How could you be?"

"Look at me! I meet you on the roof at night…"

"That doesn't mean anything… you met the Hokage at night too…" (_Kakashi looks horrified_) "You weren't doing it with him, were you? All this time? Although…. You did get all those promotions…"

"NO!"

"Well, then… so what about meeting me on the roof?"

"Well, there's the fact that I blush whenever you talk to me."

"Um… you blush whenever you talk to Mizuki…" (_Kakashi looks suspicious)_ "You weren't doing it with him, were you? That would be wrong – dangerous – bad for the village…. And he's got grey hair too…"

"NO!"

"Well, then…so what about blushing? I thought you were embarrassed about not meeting with Naruto sooner…"

"Well… I clasped your hand the other night…"

"I thought you were just comforting me…"

"Still…."

"That doesn't mean anything – you hold Naruto's hand a lot…" (_Kakashi looks shocked_) "You're not into YOUNG boys, are you? Cause – besides the whole ick factor, there's the fact that you'd lose your job…"  
"NO! I'm not doing anything like that! But – but – I've hugged you!"

"But you hugged Konohamaru at the funeral…"

"That was in public…"

"And a roof isn't?"

"Well…"  
"What about that time that Naruto jumped onto you to save you – and took some kunai in the back as a result… huh? It sounded pervy to me – but then I thought it probably was a more – on the spur of the moment thing that happened… like the time when Genma and I ended up naked in a closet…"

"What?"

"Forget I said that."

"How about the fact that we're two handsome young men together a lot of the time…"

"So I guess Genma and Raido, Izumo and Kotetsu are goners then…"

"You didn't know that?"

"WHHHAAATTT? What's wrong with you guys? Why does it have to be so cut and dried?"

"How could it not be?"

"Can't we just be friends?"

(_Iruka's trademark dopey look_) "Huh?"

"F-R-I-E-N-D-S. You know. Good teammates. Pals. Buddies. What Obito and I were like together. Eternal rivals…"

A moment.

"Did I just say 'eternal rivals'?"

"Yeah."

"Shoot me…"

Another moment's silence.

"I thought you weren't into the whole friend deal thing," Said Iruka

"I know. I thought you were going to help me with that."

"But…"

"Iruka. I'm having a hard time socializing as a friend, much less worry about a relationship. Can't we stay friends? Forever?"

"You mean… You've got somebody better?"

"Well… no… I'm just not interested… Do I look interested?"

A moment later.

"Naruto told me that you went crazy over the Princess Koyuki and the female Daimyo from Bird Country… Is that true?"

"Heh heh heh…"

"You just like to go for rich types don't you?"

"Nothing happened." (_sad_) "Are you jealous?"

"No. Not at all."

"Really?"

"Yes. This way we can be friends. Straight friends who like to hang out a lot. Who comfort each other… and do other stuff…"

"Why not? Let's break boundaries together. Screw society!"

"Yeah, screw it!"

"Let's go drink on it!"

"Hell, yeah!"

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From afar off: **

**Genma, Raido, Asuma, Kurenai, Tsunade, Jiraiya, Ebisu, Suzume, Iwashi, Shizune, Kotetsu, Izumo, Ibiki, Anko, Gai etc etc. look on in awe.**

"Denial… that's what it's gotta be…"

"I don't know… the way Kakashi reacted to me in the closet, I'd say… he's straight all right…"

"Genma… what closet?"

"Never mind… just… yeah… whatever…"

"But… oh… they look so good together," all the kunoichi sigh. "Even if it will never be… it's a lovely vision…"

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Naruto, in the distance: **

"BAKA-SENSEI! WHERE'RE YOU TAKING IRUKA-SENSEI?"


End file.
